Tipping Point was Reached- copied from 01-Sept-2005

 Howdy, it’s been a long time since I blogged.

I lost my partner & lover, now I’m lost, completely lost and stranded with no foreseeable way out.

At this point, all my beliefs and core values have been shaken, rocked, broken, crumbled, reassembled using failed glues or too quick setting cements which has meant I’ve crumbled it all into dust and little fragments in trying to reset and reshape.

If I didn’t have mental illness at the start, I certainly gained an acquired brain injury and mental health issues along the way, of the journey I didn’t have to make.  I certainly have added to the possible perceptions myself in the very act of being part of the story & fighting the allegations that began to be made against my person.  Even today I have to accept that it has become part of my “history” that I was “smelling gas”, generally regarded as a clear, odorous product by and of itself.

I had spoken to my GP after I had spent 12+ hours digging our dog from a fox hole/mineshaft.  I knew about the gas pockets sitting at ground level around the district along with the warnings and stories of accidental deaths of children playing hide and seek or older people,prospecting.

After digging down several feet into the Ground, it became obvious we had a gas source with a faint green/yellowish foul sulphur like smelling gas hanging in the air from just below ground level. 

I suppose the gas is formed by plant materials or roots breaking down or a bacteria/ Microbe expelling its waste as a has which is filtered by the time it reaches the ground into,clear,odorous gas, but under ground it smells like gold actually. 

From then however I began smelling the gasses whenever I went for a dog walk as did my partner and spouse.  The neighbours had an intricate water treatment and filtration system on their property but at the edge of their block, right by our kitchen window was an outlet pipe of 4-6 inch diameter was periodically expelling concentrated chlorine gas.  Our home was on an embankment cutting of a small hill cut out for the road to pass by on a level incline and the drop of 7-8 feet to road level would fill with the gaseous outlet pipe of,the neighbours which was so intensive we would both feel intensely faint when we had to cross the road to go for a dog walk.  It was pretty horrendous.

Thirdly not long after I started smelling yet more gas, inside our home this time.

I searched for the source of the gas without success, of course I had started with the gas company providing the bottles of gas hooked up to our home and the stove. 

I reported the smell to the doctor as well, mentioning the rise in our bottled gas use but also the disclaimer of the gas company.  The doctor bought in a mental health psychiatric nurse and I was forced to use heavy “chemical incarceration” drugs .

Many months later, the plumber arrived with my order of bottled gas.  Steve was having a laugh at me along with the community as he explained why my worries were worthless.

I went on with whatever until Steve the plumber was ready for his demonstration.  I got up from my desk and went to the plumber at the stove who explained he’d gone over everything and it was all fine. “No stove has ever blown up he said in history so we’re safe”.  

KABOOM the deafening sound roared and the flash blinded as the stove exploded.

Today a decade on the doctor is still telling others about my mental health problem...oh by the way..I actually had a fully collapsed lung over that,entire year. The surgeon told me to lawyer up against the doctor but the doctor and his lawyer used a black ban tactic.  It’s been sad, scary, sad, scary in a back n forth until I realised it’s SAD & SCARY. 

I had suffered the lung collapse after tripping forward on doorstep getting through doorway with 20 litre buckets of washing machine water for the garden.  Momentum saw me leave the ground and fly through the veranda railings. 

A few months prior our home had made a big noise and shuddered, the doors and windows on one side of the house were all jammed tight, couldn’t be opened whilst the other side saw the doors and windows all falling open, unable to stay shut. 

I had to go for help as my partner was trapped inside our bedroom & I couldn’t get it open.

The house had/s a huge gumtree overhanging.  I had begun trimming the lower branches after a couple of branches had ejected onto the water tank and my motor car, the owner however made a fuss and prohibited me from touching/pruning any trees. (Otherwise I could do what I want with garden). What was the point of unprinted fruit and nut trees?  

Anyhow..the lower gumtree branches got larger and larger, never ejecting because,they were resting on the roof of the house.

The gumtree takes up over 3/4 entire roof space making house damp and cold.

Pressing on the structure the main support beam broke in the floors, where there had been 3 & 4 kick boards around the bottom of the house the stumps were now pushed fully into the ground.

It wasn’t nice to live in or experience.

A half hours pruning with a hand pruning saw could have saved the entire structure.

I should have taken action when I knew the smoke detector was not just a smoke detector. See ramblings of a zentub 2004. (That is: more action than calling the local fire brigade who’s members came out one by one until they were all there, shouting at the smoke detector to make it squeal in a apparent first. I had already checked the serial numbers after it fell from its mount on the ceiling & learned it was supplied by a specialist providing equipment to undercover police and other undercover agencies )